To be or not to be a Roman

Most everyone is familiar with the saying, "When in Rome...." and although I'm not in Rome, to an extent there are waysof being that I simply must adjust to in Germany. To get along in any society that is different from your own, there are a variety of ways which you may be used to that need to be sacraficed. For instance, language. Of course it's better to speak German in a German speaking country. My personal opinion is that it would be disrespectful to avoid speaking the language of the host country which you may be living in. Think of how irritated people in the States can get when a foreigner doesn't speak English.....But the language is just one example. Another one for you.......Nonverbal gestures. In the States, I think about how many times I smile everyday at strangers. It almost feels unnatural to not smile at a passerbyer. Here in Germany (at least in Munich), smiling does not translate. Friendliness does not translate. People seem to think you're crazy or have some sort of psychologial malfunction if you walk through the streets with a smile on your face. This is a difficult concept to swallow for me and one that I don't feel inclined to adjust to. This is where the dilema presents itself.

When I was in Thailand, I was becoming more and more "Thai-like" everyday. The Thai way was fulfilling and helped to make me what I thought was a more grounded and peaceful person. Then I enter the Deutsche kingdom where people walk around with frowns, snap and get angry at the littlest things, are constantly impatient and monitoring their watches, and keep wide distances from strangers. People avoiding people.

Just the other day, a lady actually got mad at me because I opened the door for her and motioned for her to go ahead of me. I was met with hostility and frustration because as she told me, "I can do it myself."

Of course while I live here I don't want to be the fish-out-of-water, but I also don't want to become so much of a German. I would like to preserve my friendly character and not to forget how to smile. I would like to keep enjoying the small things in life, like a cute dog or pretty clouds in the sky. I still want to be American-Thai.

But, I live here.....How much of this world do I let consume me? How can I make sure that I don't become sharp and edgy like most of the population here? How can I still be me, when "me" doesn't translate???